When I announced that I am pursuing BaristaFIRE within the next year, I also began wondering if the “point” of this blog will end when I quit my full-time job. But good friends on Twitter pointed out that it’ll be nice to read about the process I go through, both emotionally and logistically, to make the leap.
So… Here we are! #BaristaFIRE Log 02! These are probably going to be a bit rambly and in parts not that coherent, because they are kind of going through all the things swirling around my brain and whatever conflicts or concerns that come up.
I Said Yes!
When my partner visited last week, he said, “So since we’re getting married… I guess we should get engaged?”
And I shrugged and said, “I guess?”
So long story short, he brought me to the wrong store (MUWAHAHAHA), I fell in love, and he bought the second most expensive purchase of his life (most expensive is his car).
And now we’re engaged! We got engaged at sunset in Central Park, and I basically forced himself to propose there instead of at the sushi restaurant we were having dinner at (TOO on-brand for us) or my apartment (too nonchalant). So that deed is done (so much romance).
It’s kind of surreal that this next step is “so real” now. It’s no longer a hypothetical. We’ve taken an actual step towards getting married and my eventual “retirement.”
Everyone Thinks I’m Joking
When I tell someone I’m engaged, they first ask me when the wedding is (“Not having one”), and then ask me what I’m going to do (“Retire”). Everyone thinks I’m joking.
So as much as “FIRE” movement seems to have been making news these days, the idea of “retiring early” doesn’t really seem to be something people think is actually a “thing.”
I guess I don’t really talk about retirement or money with people outside of Twitter, so coming back into the “real world” where money is something no one has and not working is something that can’t be afforded is always an interesting experience.
More Money Talks
We talked more about money next year as we adjust to one income. Basically we’ll put everything I make into retirement for me (I don’t think I’ll be making THAT much, especially if I don’t actively work).
If I do end up picking up a lower-wage part time job like working at a coffee shop, we are considering putting money from stuff like that into a vacation fund or something.
We also realized that when he thought we can only save $500 a month, he was anticipating having to pay for my 401k. Since I’ll be funding my own 401k with my passive income, that means we have a lot more money to work with every month (I guess at least $1000 more, post-tax?)
So now we don’t feel as scared about what it means month to month, even if we got a 2 bedroom apartment (I want the spare bedroom to set up a work-room so I can work remotely/work on my business when I get to it).
Though he just keeps on repeating, “Don’t worry about money. It’s going to be ok. We have plenty of money, and we’ll be ok.”
And it’s true. I just keep on going back and forth on this prospect of giving up $75k+ of income, and it all at once seems like a HUGE amount of money, while at other times, seems like definitely not worth my chronic pain and inflammation.
Book Rec: Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)
I just read Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lives I’ve Loved), and it really resonated with me and what I’m trying to do.
The author, Kate Bowler, is diagnosed in her early 30’s with terminal cancer. She is given weeks to live. She writes about what happens when you are thrown into intersection of death and dying and “Positivity Cult.”
Her Prosperity Church members scrutinize her for sins that brought this upon herself. Friends begin their sentences with, “At least…” Strangers have every medical advice under the sun to give to her because they obviously know better than her Duke doctors.
And most importantly, she begs God, the universe, anything, for more time. She was “guilty of the arrogance” of thinking about time and life, assuming there is always a future. A “later.” She had gone through life, working towards the “later.” But now, all she wants is more time with her toddler son and the love of her life.
We are all guilty of this. Of looking for the “later,” and being “goal oriented.” And it’s honestly how we got where we are, I think. It’s a good thing. We’re driven. We’re motivated. We’re very good at what we do.
But at the same time, we have to step back and evaluate. When IS later? What are we missing by pursuing the future and not embracing the present?
That’s what I’m trying to find out in the next few years as I attempt to bring this bullet train of a life to a halt and slow my life down to crawling so that I can appreciate and enjoy the present, and try to not worry so much about the future.
The future may or may not come. But the now. The now is definitely here.
And I don’t want my last few weeks of life to be consumed with regret that I took for granted the present and past, always assuming that there is a “future” to spend all of the saved up resources.